It’s really easy to attach my self-worth to the work I create. No matter what happens, whether my work is accepted or not, I get trapped in the jaws of shame. If people see it as “bad”, I see myself as worthless. If it’s seen as “good”, I’m imprisoned by what others think, a slave to people-pleasing.⠀
Then those words I hear from others play over and over in my head, messages of self-doubt and self-criticism, and I become crippled by my own thoughts.“Shame started as a two-person experience, but as I got older I learned to do shame all by myself.” - Robert Hilliker⠀
One of the keys to combating shame is recognizing it within yourself and what triggers it. Talking about the things that bring you shame and shedding light on them is crucial. I’m ashamed of my inability to focus and stay mentally present in my day to day life, especially when it comes to my creative work. I’m ashamed of my weight and how I’m not making enough money and what if my friends don’t really like me, etc, etc, the list goes on. ⠀
But being transparent with my shame is the only way to overcome it. I’m taking steps toward that, and hoping to move toward a healthier place where shame doesn’t have as much control of my life.
(based on Chapter 3 : Understanding and Combating Shame)